What is Love?
What comes to mind when the word 'love' is mentioned? Unfortunately, too often one is reminded of 'love' in the common sense, depicted to us by the media, our families, schooling, society at large and it has to do with the love between two people, usually of opposite sex, as in romantic love, relationships, dating. This is perhaps the most common interpretation of love and it is portrayed in the most silly and unrealistic ways possible: from hyper tragic-romantic movies to grandiose costly weddings, and further still by eroticism and sexy passion or in contrast, by depressing, long-lasting unthrilling relationships. We also think of love in the form of love for our children, love for our friends and family members, love for our pets, love for nature, love for our homes etc. What I'm getting at is that the word 'love' in our society is narrowed to mean very specific things and reflects a myopic version of the true word. This not only causes problems for most of us as in unmet expectations, disappointments, feelings of inadequacy... it also, and more importantly, strays us from the truth of the word, which is so much greater and so much more empowering.
"The state of Yoga is the state of Love, unconditional. To see yourself in others- to see so deeply into others that otherness disappears and only the Self- only God, only Love- remains is the yogic magical quest."
~ Sharon Gannon ~
The social construct of modern love
The truth is that most of us have received mixed messages and have been confused about love all of our lives. Yet love is everywhere, it is what binds us. Love is the energy that keeps you alive. It is the feeling that you always have within, underneath everything else you may be feeling. We are made of love and our supply is endless. I started by speaking about the meaning of the word in our modern day western society because when I speak about love in yoga class I sometimes get concerning reactions... the use of the word brings up an artificial 'idea' of love or the feeling that it is silly, almost foolish and bothersome; as if talking about it were sugarcoating an otherwise, perhaps interesting conversation. This is what I want to speak about today and what I struggle with in our society, the manipulation of crucial concepts, such as love. And this creates faulty beliefs, disempowers us and scatters us further, making it harder and harder for us to believe in and achieve a state of peace and equanimity in our lives. So to attempt this path it is crucial to give new and true meaning to concepts, such as love. Indeed, it is a word we should be talking about all the time and which is the furthest thing in the world from a fake and ridiculous preconception of something excessively sentimental, bubbly, soft and sweet that we all need to attain -with a romantic partner- in order to feel whole and happy.
Love is how it feels to recognize our essential unity.
Awakening to oneness is the experience of Big Love.
Knowing you are one with all, you find yourself in love with all."
~ Timothy Freke ~
The myth of separation
It is said that there are many levels and types of love but I truly believe they all derive from the same source; they may be different expressions of the same underlying thing, but love is love. Perhaps it's best explained as different ripples but from the same sea, the endless pool of love, the basic vibration of the universe. So, for the purpose of this entry I would like to talk more about the ever-encompassing, omnipotent aspect of love instead of making further separations and distinctions. It is clear to me that you may feel you love a partner differently than you may love a landscape or a home, but love in the complete form is our foundation, it is all pervading and unchanging. Love is our essence. It is the essence. So in truth there is no separation, love is light, it is God, it is our higher self- it is Yoga.
Wisdom is knowing we are all One. Love is what it feels like and
Compassion is what it acts like."
~ Ethan Walker III ~
Bhakti Yoga
In yogic tradition it was clear from the start that opening the heart is one of the ways to surely attain enlightenment, and this is because love and the yogic goal are one and the same. Hence, one of the four traditional schools of yoga, or paths, to take separately or in tandem to help us arrive more quickly at feeling interconnected and in bliss, is Bhakti Yoga. Bhakti Yoga is the yoga of love, of using love and the heart to attain a state of yoga, Samadhi, enlightenment. Love as unity, as a state of bliss, which is similar to saying our light or God within. So Bhakti is supreme love or consciousness and through bhakti a person can attain this state of love and peace, in other words the supreme state of consciousness. And let me stress that it is a state that has always been there, we are born with it and die with it, it is not something external we need to create. The challenge is in the process of having to uncover and sift through everything that masks our already-perfect and enlightened state; and to achieve this the way of love can be successful.
“Love sustains the universe and love is the universe. Love is found in the form of mutual Attraction and gravitation inherent in electrons and protons, in atoms and elements as well as in the compound worlds. Love is the individual self. And love is the illimitable universal Self. Love is God and love is liberation.”
~ Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati ~
So what is in the way of this bliss? This omnipotent love?
Fear is what holds us back from expressing and receiving this cosmic love. You can really only love or be fearful; it is unimaginable to truly experience universal love if you fear. Fear keeps us separate from others and from understanding and feeling truly interconnected with everything that surrounds us, and sensing that we are taken care of and are safe on this planet. We get so caught up in the minutia of life and thoughts of mine vs. yours that we forget the true goal of life, which is happiness, only attainable if we can truly open our hearts to give and receive wholly, with vulnerability and complete openness. Boundless.
Truly speaking it is impossible to describe love. Love is love and it exists for love alone.
It is above all laws, all scriptures. It is above all else.
~ Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati ~
Love is the ultimate state of human behavior where compassion prevails and kindness rules.
~ Guru Bhajan ~
Practice Love
So what can we do to practice opening the heart?
Take a yoga class!
Taking a yoga class is a great way to easily open the heart, especially if the class is geared towards back bending. These asana poses successfully open our heart chakra and gradually deepen our trust and sense of physical release that can then translate into an emotional and spiritual openness. Restorative yoga is also extremely successful at opening the heart because restorative poses are held long enough for the practitioner to truly melt and surrender the physical body and clear obstructions that are in the way of feeling this boundless state within. All asana practice also uses the breath to clear out the nadi, the channels in the body to allow more prana, or life force, to move more freely, clearing sensations of limit, fear, stagnant air and dullness. Yoga successfully uplifts and leads us inquisitively inside the self to create change that will then be reflected outside of our selves too. You must always start from within and work yourself outwards, for the whole outer world is a mirror of our own personal state.
Meditate!
Meditation at first can be very challenging but it is another very successful tool to deepen your work on the self and to reconnect with your inner pure light, your inner heart. There are many schools and methods of meditation out there and I recommend starting in a group because it can be difficult to acquire the discipline to start meditating regularly on your own, but this too is possible. Abundant research has proven, time and time again, that mediation can lead to feeling more clear headed, safe and in balance which will make us feel more at ease in the world and more prepared to deal with life’s unpredictability. It has been proven that even 5 minutes of home meditation a day can create change and make your day!
Chant, Sing & listen to Music!
The universe is also vibration and vibration is music. This relationship is fundamental to understanding why singing and chanting have been used since the beginning of time to open the heart in most religions and spiritual settings and lineages. It is also why yoga classes usually open with the mystic sound ‘OM’, considered the primordial sound of the world. In the yoga sutras Patanjali (reprint 2012) explains that the supreme can’t have a name or it would be a limited name and the supreme is infinite so the sound OM is used to express it. OM is like a simple humming, the omnipresent undertone of the universe. It is enough to try it once to feel instantly more connected, at ease, uplifted and relaxed. Chanting is a step above singing because it is directly targeted to the divine, so the subject is clear and all vibration is channeled towards sending love out into the universe. Yet all singing can make a difference… and honestly, if singing or chanting is just not your thing, listening to celestial or inspiring music in a relaxed posture can be just as successful at opening the heart!
Visit an Ashram!
This is a point I would really like to make because too many times in our society it's still seen as strange, too sect-like or intimidating for reasons such as dress code, no alcohol, no sex. Needless to say Ashrams vary immensely between one another and they all have in common the beautiful and underlying experience of stripping you, upon entering, of your idea of who you are and what you wear and what job you do… everything that makes you feel separate and different from others and granting you the place and space to focus on what we all, on the contrary, have in common… which is so important and so bountiful! By cultivating this sense of unity we can bypass the ego. This is an invitation to go to an Ashram on your next trip, or just for a restoring weekend nearby. Attempt something new, which will calm you, revive the spirit, lessen fear and may give you a new perspective on things. Enjoy time spent humbly with others even if it’s just to sing, walk in silence or wash the dishes… doesn’t hurt to try something new!
Karma Yoga or volunteer, help out, be of service to others!
Another very efficacious way to help open the heart and feel less separate and alone is being of service to others… this too being a traditional school of yoga. When you dedicate all your actions to a greater good it is easier to feel freed of the stifling limits of the self and learn to notice how much we are all interconnected. Karma Yoga leads the small self towards the greater Self. Our whole society’s focus is the ego whereas being of service to others helps expand our true self. Needless to say there are so many ways and opportunities out there to help others, the environment, animals… so volunteer or just dedicate some time to your community and next time you feel a little low open up and get out there! Yoga is also action.
Grow from your everyday relationships!
And now we can come full circle. We started by talking about the faulty definition of love as in only romantic love but how can we use these moments too to grow and help our spiritual evolution? Well, relationships are actually a mirror of our present state and progress so if we can learn to detach a little and observe them, they can be very valuable experiences that help us work through our own pain, hurt and limits and expand always more. Love for partners can aid us. And also love for our family members, love for our pets, love for the earth. All forms of outer love are a mirror of our own internal love and with the aid of wisdom can help us grow. Trusting the process and accepting all the types of love given to us prepare us for embracing our larger, underlying omnipresent love.
The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves "inside the skin" of the other. We "go inside" their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering. Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. We must become one with the subject of our observation. When we are in contact with another's suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally, "to suffer with."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh~
Osho (2001) on this subject expresses a beautiful concept about how ideally we should allow Love to flow freely from one person to the next, learning that the point is not getting caught on that one specific person but rather learning that your love can seamlessly and blissfully move from one person to the next while helping you on your path of growth. This can be very hard to do because we tend to focus on the specific person or instance and get all caught up but there is beauty in learning to let go a little and trust the process and see your endless pool of love move through different channels in order for the Self to heal, expand, and exchange omnipotent love. Instead of being fearful we must learn to trust. If we trust we can openly love and experience all pervasive, cosmic love. We all may require different processes and may be drawn to some methods instead of others. The tools I’ve portrayed, which clearly are only a handful, can benefit this journey, which as Jones (2011) once stated should be of primal importance: “Investing in healing your heart is perhaps the most valuable expenditure of one’s time and energy. It will transform your whole life. From changing your heart, a multitude of blessings will unfold and blossom around you.”
"Remember the emphasis on the heart. The mind lives in doubt and the heart lives in trust.
When you trust, suddenly you become centered."
~ Osho ~
In love and LOVE and light,
Lavinia
Recommended readings:
Bhakti Yoga, The Philosophy of Divine Devotion (2011)- Shri Brahmananda Sarasvati
Bhakti Yoga (2013)- Swami Vivekananda
Yoga and Love (2013) - Vishwanath Iyer
Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships (2002)- Osho
How to Love (2014) - Thich Nhat Hanh
"What Is Love? Understand the 3 Spiritual Levels of Love" (Aug 28, 2007),Yoga Journal- Sally Kempton
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (reprint 2012), Sri Swami Satchidananda
